Wednesday, June 4, 2014

91. On feminism —
Becky: "Has a woman ever not taken care of you?"
Kevin: *long pause* "Good point."

90. "We have our own Donald Trump."
— Miles, on Memphis moguls

89. "2013 was a hangover."
— Miles, acting as the narrator

88. "You look like you're ready for the Olympics!"
— homeless man, possibly blind, to Becky on a Monday night

87. "Thankfully, I'm not a vegetable today."
— Miles, on running in the Memphis heat

86. "You have enough money to burn a wet mule in a creek bed in a hurricane."
— Mike, on Kroger salaries

85. "I'm just happy in life that I can afford food."
— Quinto, on Asian takeout

84. "Quinto, goddamn, you could tear up a crowbar in a sandbox."
— Mike, on boat etiquette

83. "Have you ever killed anybody?"
— Barry, making friends

82. A personality analysis —
Becky: "Barry says I have two modes: 'Oh, I'm the queen! Bow down to me!' And 'Back off, motherfuckers.'"
Kelly: "I can see that. You're like Beyonce. You're the Irish Beyonce!"

81. "I'm doing my best."
— Siri, who was having some trouble finding the nearest McDonald's

80. "None of the Johns do the runs, right?"
— Allie, keeping it all straight

79. Drunkover - adj., "When you wake up drunk but you're hungover."
 — Allie, enriching the language

78. "It's our place! There's nowhere else to go. Even though there are tons of other places to go."
— Allie, summing up our bar

77. "Weird...I thought we were the only people who brought computers here..."
— Allie, on work nights at Slider

76.  "Aldo says I have the best side work of anyone."
— Barry, on birthdays

75.  "That was a good episode of Slider Inn."
— Miles, on an old-school Thursday

74.  "He's just stirring up Barry-ness."
— Becky, dismissively, at some bar

73.  "I always keep some in the van in case I have to make a citizen's arrest."
—  Aldo Sr., jack of all trades

72.  On life in 2015 —
Becky:  "Fifteen years ago was, like...the year 2000!"
Allie:  "What?  No, it wasn't!"

71.  "I'm pretty sure that family is a cult."
— Allie, people-watching at the Shell

70.  "Is this regular drama or Becky drama?"
— Hawaii Joe, keeping it real for the new class

69.  "You're as cute as that Bud Light you're drinking."
— Slider pickup lines

68.  "Tastes like unemployment."
— Becky, flashing back with a High Life

67. On the champagne of beers —
Miles:  "Is that an eagle or a dragon?"
Jordan:  "Yes."

66.  "Music is good."
— Becky, #profoundthoughts

65.  "I don't think I've had a long run shorter than 15 miles since March."
— John P., runner party small talk

64.  At Schweinehaus —
Miles:  "The girl who was at Frankapalooza two years ago..."
Sean (interrupting):  "I don't know what any of that means."

63.  "I don't think of it as your actual age.  I think of it as how much life has crushed your soul."
— Bryan, explaining that app that tells you how old you are

62.  "I want to drink where the people drink."
— Becky, on choosing pub crawl stops

61.  "I wonder if she's done any coke today."
— Allie, asking the pertinent questions

60.  People-watching —
Becky:  "She's getting a little tipsy."
Barry:  "Well, if you're going to fuck your grandkid..."

59.  "Becky, you do attract a wide range of men."
— Molly, because it's Sunday

58.  "Molly, you're as cool as your hair."
 — Barry, speaking the truth

57.  "I just ran the Memphis marathon backwards."
 — Miles, on the drunk alphabet

56.  "Wow, that's a real-life leprechaun!"
— Francesca, identifying a Slider sub-species on Paddy's Day

55.  On the Grizzlies —
Becky:  "Eight seconds to go and we're down by 3."
Molly:  "We've got this."

54.  "So you guys do hang out but you're not wrapping your legs around him?"
 — Molly, getting down to brass tacks

53.  "I do not even want it to be a nudist thing."
— Barry, re Shelby Farms

52.  "Things always change.  Because things never stay the same."
— Becky, human thesaurus

51.  "Oooh!  I love unbearable!"
— Molly, on summer

50.  "Becky and I actually agree on something."
— Mason, on hell freezing over

49.  "Even for Becky?!"
— Molly, incredulous at the "sexiest place on earth" closing for the day

48.  "Give Brother Vince some respect!  If he deserves any damn thing, it's that!"
— FedEx Forum's classiest Grizzlies fan

47.  "So many Johns, so little time..."
— Allie, during Oktoberfest

46.  "I was born at an early age."
— Jimmy, re Star Wars

45.  "I forgot lately that I can wear kids clothes."
— Jordan, on the joys of cardigans

44.  "Fuck the mall."
— Quinto, on women's shopping

43.  "No, you are not tickling me.  That needs to be established right now."
— Jimmurl, to Miles

42.  "We're all different people to different people."
— Becky, philosopher extraordinaire

41.  "You never want to be in a position where a very large woman can pin you with her ass."
— Barry, offering practical advice

40.  "Everyone's full of shit until they're not."
— Quinto, on car sales

39.  "I don't know what the hell you want from me!"
— Gavin, on coming up with good quotes

38.  "I don't know what Becky did in a prior life, but she's sitting back like, 'You dumb motherfuckers.'"
— Barry

37.  On perfume —
Becky:  "It's Allie's signature scent."
Brad:  "What's it called?  Buffalo Juicy?"

36.  "That 30 minutes was the closest thing to tantric sex I've ever experienced."
— Barry, on Clapton and Santana in the 1970s

35.  "Just relax, and let your eyebrows grow."
— Francesca, on manscaping

34.  "You're old enough to be everyone's weird uncle."
— Francesca, re Barry

33.  "I had two drownings last week."
— Allie, on excitement in the workplace

32.  "We should talk about how good beer is."
— Molly, on conversations about time travel

31.  "Attack the head."
— Mike, on the best way to enjoy a Tuesday

30.  Discussing science —
Barry:  "We're just sitting here talking about how we're mostly virus."
[Slider patron]:  "It's cool; I'm sweating like a rapist."

29.  "Aside from killing orphans who live in Rio, this is their national pastime."
— Barry, explaining the World Cup

28.  "Seeing is overrated."
— Quinto, on vacationing

27.  "Where all the big-footed bitches coming from?"
— Cameron, gentleman salesman

26.  "If they weren't born in a manger then you won't date them."
— Jimmurl, on courtship standards

25.  "They should be arrested for impersonating a restaurant!"
— Aldo Sr., gently expressing his thoughts on Applebee's

24.  "You've gotta have a good ho hauler."
— Mason, expert car buyer

23.  "You're the boldest one at this table."
— Jaime, to Becky, making character assessments during Tiki Tuesday

22.  "Sometimes I don't think through my decisions."
— Molly, on the perils of Thursday night

21.  "I think the manager gave up tonight."
— Quinto, on the state of the Slider Inn

20.  "Oh!  I'll be back!  I forgot it's meatball day!"
— Barry, with indecent enthusiasm, on the best part about Mondays

19.  "This is like Slider church night."
— Barry, on Wednesdays being the new Thursdays

18.  "We're dying from our projection of pseudo-perfection."
— Molly, paraphrasing "The Problem with Pinterest"

17.  "Vibrators cured hysteria."
— Allie, on lessons from local theater

16.  "Life should be lived one sip at a time."
— Aldo Sr., on the value of a good Sunday

15.  "That guy can't even decide if he's gay or straight."
— Barry, life coach

14.  "We got drunk and we forgot."
— Allie, summarizing the entire 2013 calendar year

13.  "This didn't come out of a package so I'm not licking it."
— Becky, who regrets the situation called for her to say that

12.  "I hope I'm not a twin."
— Allie, on the pitfalls of calcification

11.  “I always stop at one.”
— Barry, earnestly describing his Fireball intake at the Slider Inn

10.   "Dogs suck.  I mean, they literally eat shit."
— Allie, guidance counselor

9.  “I don’t think doctors understand legs.”
— Adrian, medical critic

8.  “It’s like the hotdogs of alcohol.”
— Becky, re Fireball

7.  “The first time I saw When Harry Met Sally was at Dave Wottle’s house.”
— Allie, #shitrunnerssay

6.  "If you can milk a cow, you can milk anything."
— Devin, on survival in the modern world

5.  “He must be gay; he can’t keep us straight.”
— Allie, on S.O.B.’s perpetually confused wait staff

4.  Master pickup artists —
Allie:  “I just got called ‘sir.’”
Becky:  “I guess the Viva la Juicy isn’t working.”

3.  "Where those little short people got killed by a volcano.”
— Scott, explaining Pompeii to Francesca

2.  “14, 14, 14, 14, 14, 100.”
— Sean, on how aging works in the Asian population

1.  “It ain’t just Asian chicks.”
— Sean, on whom he totes around in his Porsche


  1. This is delightful. Can we go to the Slider Inn in October? ;)

    1. They have a great brunch on Sundays and I've already decided that's where we're eating/drinking off our reunion hangovers. With all of us together, we can't NOT go to the Slider Inn... :D

    2. Exactly the answer I was hoping for!!!!!!!!

  2. OMG haha #55 the train set at that festival!!

    1. Hahaha! We do have some great times. :D

  3. I just read the whole list… again! Dying laughing. We need to add on. We haven't been to Slider lately (well, I haven't anyway). "It's our place. There's nowhere else to go. Even though there are tons of other places to go."

    1. Haha, we so need to go!! We are way overdue for more quotes/Slider hilarity. :D