Anonymous

Sometimes it's not entirely necessary to publicly identify who said it...

11. "The male strip club was nothing compared to that woman putting my face in her boobs."

10. "Every day I wake up, and I'm like, I'm old, and I'm hungover, and everyone can tell!"

9.  "You know I've been on this black guy kick or whatever..."

8.  "Catch 'em and eat 'em.  That goes for fish and women."

7.  "Rip off the Band-Aid and pour on the peroxide."

6.  "You better be female."
— prank-texting at its finest ("Hey bitch...")

5.  "That's dangerously good!"
— re the Grown-up Drink

4.  "The only reason I look like a woman is because I have big boobs."

3.  "I came up right after I put my pants on and it was nice."

2.  "Nothing will compare to the first night!!"
— re the Beckhams

1.  "The next time a guy hits on me at a bar, I'm going to tell him I have a parasitic twin."